Why I even bother to maintain this site, I'm not sure. I only post when I'm procrastinating, sleepy, or in a state of high emotion. Right now's mostly sleepy.

I don't have anything profound or revealing to say...

I like Christmas. I like the music. I like the cold. I like the lights. I am annoyed by the consumerism. I'm also slightly annoyed by the mix of religious and secular (though not nearly as much as at Easter/Resurrection Sunday). There's one thing about the Christmas season that no one can deny: people really are nicer and happier around this time. I love it! Why can't we all be a little nicer and happier the rest of the year? Why is "why don't we all just get along?" such a stupid question? What is it about Christmastime that makes everyone believe in something together?

"There were lives being lost in the darkness."

I heard from the State Trooper who happened to be present during all of the flooding last month at Albert Pike. Apparently, the river rose around 20 feet in just 5 hours, immediately drowning about a dozen people. The state trooper said that after the water subsided, he drove to the campground side of the river, and could see bodies of men, women, and children scattered on the ground. I honestly can't imagine what I would feel in that situation.

What boggles my mind even more, though, is that 16 people killed in 5 hours of flooding is still just a drop in a bucket compared to the lives that are lost everyday due to preventable things like starvation, malaria, bombs, dysentery, "friendly" fire, &c.

What can one person do? Do I have to change everything in my life to make a difference? Is it possible to make a difference? How can I be involved in promoting justice in my community now? How can I help to foster real community in my community now? Community where everyone has a part, everyone contributes, everyone feels like they have purpose, everyone feels loved, everyone has someone they can make feel loved. Where no one feels too small, no one feels like they can't help because of whatever inadequacy they feel they have.

I really enjoy reading Shane Claiborne's books. One thing that he says that I really appreciate is this: "...we can tell the world that there is life after death, but the world really seems to be wondering if there is life before death."

How can I have and share life, real life, before death?

Last night I had an interesting dream. I think that I was a missionary (at the least, I was a visitor with a purpose of some sort) to a large tavern-turned-orphanage in a medium sized, very old village in the mountains in Russia (or perhaps some other Eastern European country). There were mainly just girls at this place. I can't remember seeing any males except for a couple that I came with and the director of the place. I remember a very skinny black girl with some white beads in her hair who was eating porridge and watching me. There was an older girl, maybe around my age or a little younger, who was obviously a leader among the people there. She had straight blonde hair and a long white flowing skirt. I think the orphanage made and sold clothes for their keep. The mountains outside were gorgeous. The building was very beautiful, too, though it was quite dark. We were being shown around the building and then to a small hidden room up some stairs. It seemed to be a planning room, and we were there to be trained for something.

I don't remember many more details.

Every night for the past week or two I've had dreams of traveling. Mostly in Bavaria. Some in New York. Last night it was Japan.

Prophetic? I hope so. =)

Well, maybe blogging regularly is not for me.

I am really liking my job. Who knows where it will lead. But, I suppose that doesn't matter. My pastor today said some things that went straight to me. He used the verse John 4:35 - "Do you not say, 'Four months more and then the harvest'? I tell you, open your eyes and look at the fields! They are ripe for harvest." I've been worrying too much about where I'll be going eventually and how I can get there. I've been discrediting the things that are going on in my life right now. It was really good to get a slap in the face sort of sermon today.

I've joined two soccer teams, one non-competitive coed indoor and one competitive women's outdoor. Both are wonderful. I had forgotten how much I love to play soccer.

The next time someone uses the words 'sexy' and 'sustainability' in the same sentence again, I'm going to kick them in the teeth.

I got the job. ^_^

So, this summer has been a whole lot of waiting around. I'm waiting now to hear about a job I interviewed for in Fayetteville. The idea of moving back to Fayetteville has been growing on my quite a bit.

I like running. Unfortunately, my knees don't.

In the Skin of a Lion is my new favorite Ondaatje novel.

I'd like to study Qigong. I'm just not sure where I can do it that doesn't involve a several hours drive.

Happy August! 20ish days before I don't have to start classes! ^_^